Dating Japanese women is something many of us think about, but far less of us actually achieve. There are many reasons for that, from Japan being located very far from the US to Japanese women seeming unattainable. We are here to show you that it’s definitely not impossible and to tell you more about the Japanese dating culture.
Where to meet Japanese women as a foreigner
Of course, you can always try to find a Japanese girlfriend by simply booking a trip to Japan and meeting women there. Still, this method has two obvious disadvantages: it’s costly, and it doesn’t always prove to be very effective.
This is why, for the last decade or more, men from the Western part of the world have been using online dating to meet single Japanese women. Meeting Japanese girls online is convenient and affordable. More importantly, it allows you to communicate with the right kind of women: the ones who are looking for a Western boyfriend or husband. So there is one less thing to worry about.
What kind of men do Japanese girls like?
There is no doubt you are attracted to Japanese women, but do you have what it takes to attract them back? This is the kind of man a Japanese woman wants to date and then marry.
- Polite with everyone, even the people he meets for the first time, not just her.
- Strong-willed and not willing to give up when facing even the smallest challenge.
- Able to find balance in life — not being completely focused on work like Japanese guys are.
- Not afraid of commitment and confident in his decision to settle down and have kids.
- Ready to have fun, let go, and admit that life is not always that serious.
How to ask a Japanese girl out
Whether you have talked online for a long time and are now getting ready to take your relationship to the next stage, or you have met at work or through friends and want to invite a Japanese girl to a date, the way you do it can be crucial for the success of your relationship. Here are three tips that will help you:
- Communicate your feelings clearly. When asking a Japanese girl out on a date, you need to already let her know that you find her special and are ready to see more than just a friend in her. Otherwise, she’ll just consider it to be a friendly outing.
- Don’t give her too many options. If you don’t know the lady very well yet, it’s perfectly normal to give her a couple of date options to choose from. However, you shouldn’t give her too many, and you should also have an opinion of your own. Otherwise, she can think you’re indecisive.
- Prepare for the date to take the whole day. Japanese people work a lot and don’t always have an opportunity to go on a date during the workweek. This is why, when they finally go on a date on the weekend, the date can last all day, so be ready for that and plan accordingly.
Japanese dating culture: 10 life-saving tips
The dating culture in Japan can take you years to master. It contains a lot of intricacies and unwritten rules that can be confusing even to those who have lived in the country for a long time. However, these 10 tips will help you confidently date Japanese girls as a foreigner.
- People get inventive when looking for partners. Women don’t just rely on work or their circle of friends to find a romantic partner. They visit public places, try speed dating, and actively use online dating, so you should also try multiple channels when looking for a Japanese girlfriend.
- A nice first-date gift is appreciated. Japanese women are not particularly materialistic, and they are not expecting an expensive gift on the first date. However, a small token of your attention, such as sweets or a cute mug, is definitely appreciated.
- Group first dates are widespread. When your lady brings her female friends to the date with you, you shouldn’t be surprised or alarmed. This is not because she doesn’t trust you or doesn’t take you seriously. She simply feels more confident when surrounded by friends on that special day.
- Dates are scheduled in advance. Japanese girls are famously busy. If you try to schedule a Friday date on Friday morning, you may end up getting rejected. You need to respect your woman’s schedule and arrange dates at least a couple of days in advance.
- There must be more than a physical attraction. When a Japanese woman decides to settle down, she starts looking for a potential husband. And she is looking for much more than just passion. There should be a lot in common between you personality-wise, as well as similar views on life in general.
- Communication doesn’t have to be round the clock. Circling back to Japanese ladies being busy and appreciating their time, you don’t need to text your girlfriend every 5 minutes. It can be cute at first, but it gets annoying pretty quickly. You can talk a few times a day, but don’t make it excessive.
- Couples usually split the bill. In this regard, women in Japan are similar to Western women. They don’t feel particularly comfortable when the man covers the bill on the date. They prefer it when they can contribute and split the costs. That way, they feel like it’s a date of two equals with a healthy dynamic.
- Home dates are extremely popular. Sure, for the first few dates, you will try to go out of your way to impress your new partner. However, Japanese girls will just as gladly stay at home with you to watch a movie, cook dinner, or play board games. In fact, home dates are just as popular as fancy restaurant outings right now.
- Meeting the parents means marriage is on the horizon. In Western culture, you often meet the parents after a few months of dating, but that’s not how things work in Japan. When you initiate a meeting with your girlfriend’s parents, it means you are ready to propose, so make sure you don’t get misunderstood.
- Valentine’s Day works differently. For most Western guys, Valentine’s Day is when they try their best to impress their girlfriends with gifts. In Japan, however, it’s the exact opposite. On February 14, it’s the women who are surprising men with gifts. And men get the opportunity to do the same a month later, on March 14.
Japanese women dating American men: 5 things to avoid
The number of Japanese women looking for foreign husband continues to grow, so you are already at an advantage when meeting them. Still, there are some things you should definitely try not to do. Here are the five faux-pas to avoid.
- Communicating exclusively online. In Japan, online dating is not something people use when they are simply bored or looking for a friend. When a woman signs up for a dating service, let alone an international one, she expects to find a life partner there. So you should move your communication offline sooner rather than later.
- Trying to tip on a date. Unlike the US, where servers often rely on tips to make a living, Japan is a country where tipping is not only not expected, but also actively discouraged. If you attempt to tip while on a date, your lady will instantly know that you don’t know anything about Japanese culture.
- Public displays of affection. This is another unusual thing about Japanese culture. Any public displays of affection are prohibited there. The most you can get away with is holding hands in public, but everything else is reserved for a less public space.
- Big declarations of love. Japanese women like romance and romantic movies or novels. However, they can be pretty embarrassed if you try and make a romance novel happen in real life. When it’s time to say the three big words, just say them like you mean them and don’t turn it all into a show.
- Suggesting living together. Couples in Japan hardly ever live together before getting married. They enjoy their autonomy and a certain level of freedom. Plus, a woman rightfully doesn’t want anyone to take advantage of her by living together but not marrying her. So this should be out of the question.
Final thoughts
The Japanese dating culture may seem complicated at first, but that’s only before you do your research. Once you get the hang of it, and as long as you are really motivated to impress a Japanese mail order wife, you will have no problem with learning a few simple rules and giving the right start to your relationship.
