When you want to date a woman from Japan, you are more concerned with things like how to get a Japanese girl to like you or where to find a lady who doesn’t mind dating a foreign guy.
However, once your relationship becomes stronger, you begin considering marriage. And while marrying a woman from Japan may be the best thing that can happen to a man from a Western country, there are also several potential issues this marriage can run into.
We want you to be fully prepared for what your future marriage has in store for you. So here are the 7 most common problems these international marriages face.
1. Choosing a place to live
One of the first things you learn about mail order brides Japan is how strongly they identify with their native country and how proud they are of being Japanese. So when they end up in a situation where they may need to leave Japan permanently, their reaction is often different from what you expect.
Don’t get us wrong, Japanese girls looking for Western husbands know that they will likely need to move abroad for marriage. However, their attachment to Japan is very strong. They may even try to convince you to stay in Japan and build a life there. And you may actually want to consider it, as Japan is a fantastic place to live.
And even if you are not ready to uproot your life by moving permanently to Japan, there is no need to completely deprive your wife of her life at home. Promise her she can visit Japan and her family as often as she wants, and you won’t stand in the way of those visits.
2. Cultural and language differences
Japan and Western countries could not be more different in terms of culture, worldview, and way of living. Add that to the language in those two countries being completely different, and you’ll see why there are sometimes cultural misunderstandings in marriages between Japanese women and American men.
Even when you are married to a woman from your own country, you will sometimes have trouble understanding why she does certain things the way she does and why she likes things you don’t find appealing at all. In international marriages, that’s almost a given. However, they shouldn’t become a foundation for a conflict.
Cultural and language differences in marriage are only a reason to communicate more and to get to know each other better. When you make an effort to learn about each other’s cultural background and tastes, you will understand where your partner is coming from and will be able to share their passion for certain things.
3. Work-life balance
If you did your research about the reasons why Japanese women are looking for foreign husbands or even talked to them honestly about the things that make them do it, you know that they are tired of men in Japan only having time for work.
A Japanese girl wants to marry someone ready to do more with his life than just work all the time.
However, Western men are also very focused on work. And they sometimes lose that balance between work and personal life in an attempt to make more money or win a promotion. This is where the arguments back at home begin.
As a man, it’s definitely important for you to be successful at your job. But it’s also essential for your Japanese wife to have a husband who’s present and involved in his family. This is why you need to work on a sensible work schedule that leaves time for you to be a husband and a father.
4. Interference from her family
At first glance, it may seem that Japanese ladies are pretty independent of their families. They hardly ever live with their parents after graduating and may only see them once every couple of weeks, even when they live in the same city.
However, once you get married, you will see that their connection is stronger than you thought. They talk on the phone every day, chat on messengers, and your in-laws will constantly ask questions and give advice, sometimes even unsolicited. This is especially visible when you have kids—when the parents of your Japanese wife become grandparents, they turn even more active with advice and attempts to help.
As a wise husband, you shouldn’t consider this interference to be a problem. When you have an extra set of helping hands, you can have more time to spend with your wife. For example, it’s rather common for Japanese husbands and wives to leave their kids with the grandparents for the weekend and spend time on their own, which is only possible when you’re on good terms with your in-laws.
5. Money problems
In most Japanese families, the woman works full-time just like the man until she has children. Once she becomes a mother, she either takes long maternity leave or leaves work completely to be a full-time caregiver to her children. Needless to say, when you become the sole breadwinner in the family, it can create a certain strain in your marriage.
The two possible solutions here are the following ones. One, you should consider working on your professional skills and moving up the corporate ladder to increase your income without dramatically increasing your work hours. Two, you and your wife need to find a smart approach to planning your family finances.
Creating a family budget and sticking to it should help you avoid excessive spending.
This, in turn, will remove part of the financial strain in your household. Moreover, you can talk to your wife about getting a part-time job once the kids reach a certain age and don’t need as much supervision or returning to the workplace once the kids go to school to make more money for the family.
6. Shifting focus on children
The most common parenting style of women in Japan is nurturing, but it can often be taken to an extreme. During the first few years of being a mother, a Japanese wife barely has the time or attention for anything else. Of course, this does not do a marriage any good, as when a husband feels neglected, all the other areas of his life begin to suffer as well.
When you become a parent and feel that your wife’s focus has shifted dramatically to the little one, you should understand that it’s perfectly normal.
Give your wife time, and things will likely return to the way they were at the beginning of your marriage.
In the meantime, you can speed up that process by doing more as a husband and parent. For example, if your wife is routinely exhausted after spending the whole day with the baby, give her a few hours off when you come back from work. She’ll use that opportunity to re-energize, and then she’ll have more time and desire to spend quality time with you.
7. Age difference
A widespread trend of international marriages, including marriages between Japanese women and American men, is when the man is slightly older than the woman. And in most cases, the age difference is actually welcomed by the women, as they prefer older, accomplished, confident men, and those qualities often come with age.
However, older men sometimes tend to get rigid and unwilling to discover new things. They prefer to live life the way they’re used to. This is not something a young and energetic Japanese woman is willing to accept. She wants to live life to the fullest and explore its new aspects. So you’ll need to find some middle ground and overcome this negative aspect of an age difference in marriage.
Final thoughts
When you’re a foreigner, finding a Japanese girlfriend and getting her to fall in love with you seems like the most challenging thing in the world. But it often turns out that making your marriage successful is the more difficult part and the one that requires more work than you ever anticipated.
However, when you know what challenges you can face and how to overcome them, and when you are motivated by love, no challenge should ever seem impossible!
